


Take My Breath Away, Void All My Bonds

by TheMissluluB



Series: Horuss's Void [4]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Meulin going Off, Multi, One Sided Pale Meulin/Horuss, One Sided Pale Rufioh/Horuss, Pesterlog, Remember how I said things were getting better for the horse? Whoops, The first one is a crush, but not all pesterlog
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-27
Updated: 2017-11-27
Packaged: 2019-02-07 14:08:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12842787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMissluluB/pseuds/TheMissluluB
Summary: Your name is Rufioh Nitram, and you are sickeningly pale for your ex-matesprit. You have realised you're the reason he's fallen face first into a ton of friendship drama. You havealsorealised that Horuss may have been onto something when he ran away from everything.F*ck.





	Take My Breath Away, Void All My Bonds

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, the Void Series has a new POV! Rufioh! 
> 
> What a Weeb.
> 
> Takes place Directly After [Void of Breath.](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12267066) (That link is honestly useless because you can also just press 'previous work' bUT). 
> 
> Enjoy!

aceTrainer, the following message failed to be sent:

<>

Your name is Rufioh Nitram and you are sickeningly pale for your ex-matesprit. You always have been pale for him, you can never hate him. You don’t want to hurt him, you could _never_. You wouldn’t know what to do with yourself. But…

It always has been easier to talk to Horuss about anything that bothered you, it is part of why you had stuck around with him for so long, despite never feeling flush for him. You couldn’t break his heart.

So you broke hers instead.

You deserve what she gave you, you know that. You don’t forgive yourself for it either.

You should have told Horuss you were taken. When you said you were single, you meant in pale. He thought you meant flush. You should have clarified. Really, there is no excuse at all. You blame yourself for that. Damara deserved better than that, and you’re still surprised she even talks to you. Even you wouldn’t talk to you if the same happened to you.

But.

But this isn’t about you. This is about Horuss. About how Meulin was failing her duties in moirallegiance. Are they still even moirails? When you had heard they got together, you said congratulations only so Horuss would be happy. You didn’t like it. Jealousy, you assumed. But he changed. He stopped being the grumpy anxious mechanic you fell head over heels pale for. No, he became… disturbingly happy. It irked you, made you uncomfy. But he was happy, and you figured Horuss’s happiness was overall what mattered the most.

Even if he became something he wasn’t.

That was partially why you broke up with him. As a matesprit, it’s not your job to change him. And since his pale quadrant was swept underneath your feet, and you refused to fall pitch, there was no other choice. You had to.

… You can’t even say you didn’t expect the reaction, because you _did_. You _expected_ it. You _expected_ him to cry, to lash out, and all you wanted to do was _pap him_. But you couldn’t. So he ran far away and never came back. But he still speaks to _you_. He doesn’t speak to anyone else. Not even his moirail.

You ask yourself once again. Are they still moirails?

You stretch before eating a bowl of pot ramen. You then stretch your fingers and begin to type a few messages to Meulin. Simple enquiries, a simple ‘hey... are you and horuss st1ll even together... l1ke pale-ways???’ and wait for a response.

It doesn’t get an immediate response, which you expect, because fuck your insomnia. But it does get a response in the end, a lot later, and you start up the conversation.

AT: hey... are you and horuss st1ll even together... l1ke pale-ways???

\--  absoluteCatastrophe [AC]  is idle! --

\-- absoluteCatastrophe [AC] is online! --

AC: ヽ(^‥^=ゞ) < HI!!!!!!!!!  
AC: ヾ(=ﾟ･ﾟ=)ﾉ < WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP SO LATE???  
AT: yeah, h1...  
AT: and 1 have 1nsomn1a, so...   
AC: (^・ω・^ ) < OH, OKAY!!!  
AC: (^・ω・^ ) < WHAT DID YOU WANT ANYWAY? YOU DON’T NORMEWLALLY MESSAGE ME OUT OF THE BLUE.   
AT: uhh...  
AT: 1 messaged you ask1ng 1f... well... 1f you and horuss were st1ll 1n a pale relat1onsh1p...  
AC: (⁎˃ᆺ˂) < WHY ARE MEW ASKING THAT???  
AC: └(=^‥^=)┐ < OF COURSE WE’RE STILL DATING PALE!  
AC: └(=^‥^=)┐ < DUUUH!!!  
AC: (=｀ω´=) < WE’RE THE BEST PALE MATES EFURR!!!!!!!!!  
AC: (=ｘェｘ=) < GOD, THE F33LS, MEWFIOH, THE _F33LS!!!_  
AC: (^・ω・^ ) < WE WERE SIMPLY MEANT TO BE!  
AT: meant to be...   
AT: r1ght.........  
AT: have you even spoke to h1m lately??  
AC: (=｀ェ´=) < NOPE! HE IS A SN33KY MISTER.  
AT: ... so, you don’t know what’s happen1ng w1th h1m.   
AC: (=^‥^=) < NO ONE DOES! HE’S DONE A DARKL33R AND FUCKED RIGHT OFF!   
AC: ＼(=^‥^)/ < I HOPE HE’S OK.   
AT: hm...  
AC: ヾ(=ﾟ･ﾟ=)ﾉ < OH YEAH, YOU’RE NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM ANYMEOW ARE YOU???  
AC: ヾ(=ﾟ･ﾟ=)ﾉ < YOU’RE THE REASON HE DOESN’T WANT TO TALK TO ANYONE! HE GOT YOU TO TELL US PURRSONALLY!  
AT: yeah...  
AC: (=ｘェｘ=) < WAIT, ARE YOU SAYING THAT HIM NOT WANTING TO ASSOCIATE WITH US COOL CATS MEANS WE’RE NOT MEOWRAILS?  
AT: 1 mean, l1ke, you just sa1d you haven’t spoke to h1m s1nce he left...  
AC: (o^‥^)o < SO???  
AC: (o^‥^)o < WE CAN STILL BE MEOWRAILS EFURN IF HE’S PURRPOSEFULLY AVOIDING ME. I MEAN, YOU HAVFURN’T SPOKE TO HIM EIFUR, SO YOU CAN’T MEOW!   
AC: (o^‥^)o < SO DON’T TRY TO TALK ME OUT OF A RELATIONSHIP!! I’M THE RELATIONSHIP PERSON, I KNOW WHAT I’M DOING!!!  
AT: 1...  
AT: 1’m not??

You are.

You 100% are. But you can’t look desperate, and you _can’t call Meulin out on her shitty moirallegiance tactics_. The only way is to make it about her somehow. Make it so… Ugh, you hate doing this.

You’d make it so it was about _her_. That Horuss was being a bad moirail for running away and not talking to her about it. You do admit that Horuss _may_ have taken it a little too far in that, but knowing what he said to you…

‘Smiling solves everything!’

… No wonder he didn’t want to mention it. This would cause uproar in your friendship group if you called her out. If you told everyone you were still in contact with the AWOL Page of Void. So you take a deep breath, sip on a can of Monster, and begin to type once more.

AT: really, meu, 1’m not.  
AT: 1’m just say1ng, you haven’t seen h1m 1n a wh1le...  
AT: comb1ned w1th the fact he’s refus1ng to speak to anyone...  
AT: 1 don’t know much about relat1onsh1ps, cons1der1ng 1 pretty much ru1ned every relat1onsh1p 1’ve been 1n...  
AT: but really, 1 th1nk 1t be better 1f you broke 1t off.  
AC: ( =>д<=) < WHAT??????  
AT: for your sake!  
AT: th1nk about 1t meu!  
AT: what good 1s 1t to have a mo1ra1l who just abandons you for h1s own reasons?? and he refuses to talk to you??   
AT: refuses to talk to all of us, 1n fact!  
AT: honestly meu, 1 care about you as a fr1end...   
AT: you deserve better than a deadbeat mo1ra1l. 

You feel bad about shit talking Horuss like that, lying through your typing fingers, and telling people you’d rather avoid that you care about them. You feel _really bad_. But even if you are trying to break them up for your own benefit, as well as Horuss’s, you did mean what you said, in a sense.

No one deserves a deadbeat moirail, not even the girl who made your pale crush crawl further into his air-tight shell of his.

… You’ve just realised that you zoned out, and oh wow, she has been typing for a while. Your entire screen is Olive.

AC: ((╬●∀●) < BUT WE’RE PURRFECT TOGEFUR!! HE’S MY HORSE BABY AND I LOVE HIM IN THE PALEST WAY!! WE’RE AS GOOD MOIRAILS AS EQUHISS AND NEPETA!! THE F33LS, THE SHIPS, THE... HUH.   
AC: ( =＾● ⋏ ●＾=) < I SUPPOSE I DON’T R33LLY KNOW MUCH ABOUT HIM. HE LIKED HOOFBEASTS TOO MUCH, AND I TOLD HIM MAYBE HE _WAS_ A HOOFBEAST, AND HE SEEMED TO OPEN UP A GATE AND UNLEASHED A STAMPEDE OF HIGH SPIRITED HOOFBEAST PUNS AND REFERENCES. HE HAS A LOT TO SAY ABOUT HOOFBEASTS! HE KNOWS _A LOT_ ABOUT HOOFBEASTS.  
AC: (=ｘェｘ=) < HE TOLD ME HE WAS WORRIED ABOUT HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH MEW BECLAWS YOU SEEMED TO BE SLOWLY DRIFTING AWAY FUROM HIM, AND HE DIDN’T WANT THAT. HE’S _R33LLY_ CLINGY! TOO CLINGY, BLUH, A CAT N33DS _BREATHING SPACE!!_ BUT!! I KNOW THE BEST WAY OF SOLVING ISSUES!!  
AC: （=´∇｀=） < SMILING!!!!!!!!!  
AC: （=´∇｀=） < SMILING R33LLY DOES SOLVE EFURRYTHING!!!  
AC: ヾ(=ﾟ･ﾟ=)ﾉ < AND HE DID!!! HE WAS R33LLY GOOD AT IT!!!!  
AC: └(=^‥^=)┐ < HE’S VERY GOOD AT DOING THINGS HE WAS TOLD TO DO, YOU KNOW. IT’S STRANGE, R33LLY!!! I LIKED THAT STRANGE! I DIDN’T ORIGINALLY THINK WE’D BE GOOD PALE, BUT S33ING MY DANCESTOR AND HORUSS’S DANCESTOR TOGETHER WAS JUST _SOOOOOO CUTE!!!!!!_ SO MANY F33LS!!! I WANT TO SQUISH THEIR LITTLE CH33KS AND KISS THEM!! MY BABIES!!!!!  
AT: meu, 1 th1nk you went off the subject...  
AC: (=｀ェ´=) < MAYBE I DID A LITTLE, I’M SORRY. BUT, I’M STILL PROCESSING IT!!  
AT: ?  
AT: process1ng... what???  
AC: (=ＴェＴ=) < MAYBE...  
AC: (=ＴェＴ=) < MAYBE I’M PALE FUR HORUSS...  
AC: (=ｘェｘ=) < BUT HE’S NOT PALE FUR ME.   
AC: (=ＴェＴ=) < FUCK.   
AC: (=ＴェＴ=) < FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!!!!!  
AT: hey, 1t’s ok...  
AC: (,,^・⋏・^,,) < NO IT’S NOT!!!!!!  
AC: (,,^・⋏・^,,) < THIS ALWAYS HAPPURRS!!!!  
AC: ┌(=^‥^=)┐ < I’M THE MAGE OF HEART!!!  
AC: (o^‥^)o < I’M NEGATIVELY AFFECTED BY HEART!!!  
AC: (o^‥^)o < MY RELATIONSHIPS SUCK!!!!!!!!!  
AT: uh...  
AC: ヽ(^‥^=ゞ) < GO OUT WITH PURRLOZ, THEY SAID! MEW’RE PURRFECT FUR EACH OFUR, THEY SAID!! BUT NO!!!! WE WEREN’T! WE LOVED EACH OTHER, YEAH, BUT HE MADE ME DEAF!!!  
AC: ヽ(^‥^=ゞ) < I CAN’T HATE HIM FUR THAT BUT IT STILL MEANT HE COULDN’T TAKE BEING TOGETHER BECLAWS OF GUILT!!!!  
AC: ヽ(^‥^=ゞ) < _GUILT!!!!!!!!!_  
AC: (=｀ェ´=) < AND HORUSS! YOU KNOW HE’S NEVER ONCE PAPPED ME!!!  
AT: uhhhhhhh........................  
AC: (=ｘェｘ=) < NOT ONCE!!!!!!!!!

Uhhh… You have a feeling you’ve accidently opened a can of dirt noodles. A can of dirt noodles that Meulin’s been hiding under a guise of ‘Smiling Solves Everything’ for a long, long time.

You had absolutely no idea. You doubt Horuss had any idea either. Oh shit, this is going to cause Horuss _a lot of grief._

And it’s all your fault.

… There seems to be a running theme here, you belatedly realise.

AC: (=ｘェｘ=) < WELL, FUCK THIS!! I DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS!!!!  
AC: ( ^..^)ﾉ < THANK YOU, RUFFLE, FOR OPENING MY EYES TO THE _BULLSHIT_ THAT IS THE MESS OF MY RELATIONSHIP ISSUES!!!  
AC: ( ^..^)ﾉ < NO MORE MISS NICE KITTY. THE MITTENS ARE _OFF._  
AT: ...  
AT: ruffle...?  
AC: (^人^) < IT’S A NICKNAME, MEW EVER HEARD OF ONE?  
AT: okay, wow, ouch meu...  
AC: (=｀ェ´=) < MITTENS ARE OFF, RUFFLE.   
AC: (=｀ェ´=) < MITTENS. ARE. OFF.   
AT: can 1 ask someth1ng?  
AC: (=･ｪ･=? < ?  
AT: horuss sa1d he doesn’t want any one of us to contact h1m...  
AT: how the f*ck are you go1ng to contact h1m?  
AC: (; ･`д･´) < SCREW WHAT HE WANTS. I’M GOING TO MESSAGE HIM.   
AT: ............  
AT: oh......  
AT: when...?  
AC: (^=˃ᆺ˂) < RIGHT THE FUCK MEOW, OF CLAWS!!!  
AC: (^=˃ᆺ˂) < I’M GOING TO BREAK UP WITH HORUSS, CRY FOR 33 DAYS AND 33 NIGHTS, AND FINALLY, I AM SWEARING MYSELF OFF MEN FUR THE REST OF MY LIFE!  
AC: (^=˃ᆺ˂) < MEN CLAWS NOTHING BUT UNN33DED HASSLE! FUCK THEM!!!  
AT: what...?  
AC: =( ^>w< ^)= < THAT’S RIGHT BITCHES, THIS COOL CATS GOING GIRL-ZONE ONLY!   
AC: (^･o･^)ﾉ” < BAAAAIIII!!!!!!!!!

\-- absoluteCatastrophe set their mood to RANCOROUS -- 

\-- absoluteCatastrophe [AC] ceased trolling aceTrainer [AT] at 01:45! --

Well.

That could have gone _a lot_ better. You don’t know how else to explain it, long story short. You can literally only hope she lets Horuss down easy.

But… with how bad literally everything went down in that conversation? There is absolutely _no way_ she’d do that.

You can only hope.

… Maybe you should have just let well enough alone. Let Horuss live on his own, and just kept with his relatively frequent contact with him instead, but no, you had to put your strut pod in your mouth and fuck literally everything up.

You just _know_ he’ll know this is your fault. You shouldn’t have even said anything. You should have just stayed holed up in your fucking hive and let sleeping barkbeasts lie.

You place your head onto your desk softly. You’ve really screwed up this time. You only lift your head when you hear something ping at 2 am.

aceTrainer, you have 1 unread message!

CT: Rufioh Nitram.

_Fuck._

There’s two reasons why you are inwardly “Fuck” ing. One, _he’s_ texting _you_. He’s never done that since he left, and rarely did when he was _around._ The second reason is that you know _why_ he’s contacting you.

AT: yes...?  
CT: I.  
CT: ...  
CT: What did you do?  
AT: what do you mean?  
CT: What did you do?  
CT: Meulin is blowing up my messaging system, which I am refusing to read by the way, and I have a small dreading feeling that you are the true reason behind this. Am I wrong?  
AT: ........................  
AT: you’re not wrong.........  
AT: 1’m sorry.   
CT: You-   
CT: You didn’t tell her, did you?  
AT: what???  
AT: no!!!  
AT: 1 prom1se, 1 never told her _anyth1ng_ about what you told me, h*ll she seems to th1nk 1 haven’t spoke to you s1nce you told me to tell everyone to not contact you!  
AT: 1...  
AT: 1 d1d speak to her, though...  
AT: ...  
AT: she wants to break up w1th you...  
CT: Wh  
CT: What?  
AT: uh...  
CT: She actually...  
CT: She’s a mess, oh my God. I thought e%patriating myself from the Group w001d be c100 enough that I was ridding myself of any ties towards said group.  
AT: what?  
CT: I thought she knew I wasn’t dating her anymore!  
AT: ...  
AT: horuss, 1 don’t mean to sound rude, but that’s pretty f*ck1ng sh*tty of you.  
CT: ... Was it?  
AT: yes!  
AT: go answer her and break up properly you d*nce!  
AT: for f*cks sake, horuss, you can’t just assume after you’ve done someth1ng as drast1c as what you d1d all your quadrants would vo1d to n1l.   
CT: Oh.   
CT: I didn’t know that.   
CT: I sh001d apologise to her, post haste.   
AT: yeah, you do that...  
CT: Thank you

There’s a long pause, of which you assume is Horuss talking to Meulin. You place your head on the desk again as you waited for him to get back to you.

It’s only when you wake up from another ping that you realise you had fallen asleep. It’s been a few hours, you think, and oh hey, it’s Horuss again.

aceTrainer, you have 10 unread messages!

CT: That... was certainly something.   
CT: Gosh, I blundered up completely. But I believe it has all been... sorted?  
CT: In a sense.   
CT: She doesn’t hate me as much as she sh001d and I think... we are still... friends?  
CT: I think?  
CT: Oh, you must be asleep. I’m glad, a%ually. You need to sleep more.   
CT: Insomnia must really be awfoal.  
CT: RUFIOH  
CT: OH FUCK  
CT: HELP ME

Oh, at least he’s sorted that out in the least distressful way possible- wait, fuck.

Wait, FUCK.

AT: oh my god horuss what happened??  
CT: I was  
CT: I was going to grab something and  
CT: I fell out of a tree  
AT: _HORUSS, WHAT WERE YOU DO1NG 1N A TREE???_  
CT: I was grabbing some fruit.   
AT: ...

Of course he was.

AT: please for the love of god......  
AT: are you ok??  
CT: I  
CT: I w001dn’t call for help if I was ok, but it is mane-  
CT: Mainly  
CT: I can’t feel my leg, Rufioh.  
CT: I canter feel my leg and I’m terrified and it’s dark and I’m cold and  
CT: Please, please help me, please  
AT: hey, hey, hey...  
AT: 1t’s ok, calm down.  
AT: all 1 need 1s your locat1on.  
CT: Ok I’ll just... send that now. One moment.  
AT: ok.

\--  canterandTrot [CT]  sent their location coordinates to  aceTrainer [AT] ! --

AT: wow you’re all the way up there?  
CT: ...   
CT: Yeah.   
AT: 1’d never have guessed, honestly.  
AT: anyway, 1’ll be r1ght over, you...  
AT: well, you can’t exactly move...  
AT: so say1ng stay r1ght there 1sn’t exactly a good 1dea...  
CT: Oh, haha.   
CT: _I can’t move and I’m in blinding pain._  
AT: and 1’m on my way over to help you, don’t get your h1ghblood pant1es 1n a tw1st!  
CT: Why must you torture me this way?  
AT: better to not th1nk about the pa1n by chatt1ng to you to d1stract you from 1t, r1ght?  
CT: ... I suppose it is helping.  
CT: How long will you be?  
AT: 1’m l1terally leav1ng the h1ve now, probably between 10-15 m1nutes 1f 1 fly fast enough, that ok??  
CT: Yes that is ok, just get here as soon as you can, I’m scared.  
CT: More than scared, I am honest to God terrified, please, I don’t want to die.  
AT: you’re not go1ng to d1e, 1’ll make sure of that.

You were hastily putting on a jacket as you typed to him, and searching frantically for your medical kit. You never know when you’ll need a Med Kit, after all. You do find it, though, and you leave the warmth of your hive immediately and head in Horuss’s general direction. Or… where Troogle Maps says his general direction is.

‘I don’t want to die’.

Somehow, those words were the reason you propelled through the air faster than you’ve ever flown. He doesn’t want to die, you didn’t want him to die…

You will find Horuss and you will fix him up and _care the shit for him._

You don’t remember the last time you felt this determined.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in 2 days, and Meulin was a) not meant to react the way she did, but I am _so glad she did_ and b) Horuss, why were you in a tree. Why? Horses don't climb trees. 
> 
> Void of blood? Break a bone. Or should I say: _Break a leg?_
> 
> What do you mean I'm naming the series after aspects? I mean, I am, but-
> 
> Hope you enjoyed Void Part 4! The ne%t Instalment - Void of B100d, probably - Will be whenever the heck I write it. Bai!


End file.
